3rd of Feb finally came. And well, you're inside now. I saw the sadness in your eyes as you stood at the parade square, looking at us as we waved goodbye. After getting used to being around you for the past few months.. I guess the following 3 weeks will be quite new for me. I won't be texting you throughout the day to tell you how my lecturer talks, or what i ate for lunch.. I wouldn't know if you're playing with your dog, gymming.. or even slacking on your bed 'missing me'. Now my phone's pretty silent. Every time it rings, i'll get a tad excited hoping its a text from you BUT NAH. (Omg its only been 4++ hours!!)
I rushed home after the shuttle bus reached Pasir Ris. I didnt know where else to go, or what to do. I didn't really feel like talking to people too coz that's what i do when i'm sad i guess. I shut everybody out. And slowly psycho myself things will be okay til i feel numb and start feeling non-chalant about everything.
I know you hate it when im non-chalant about things. When i tell you "im fine, army only. I wont miss you." You should know though, these are things i say to make myself feel better about everything. Some sort of my defence mechanism. Which you always tell me not to do. Coz it makes you feel unwanted.. Well you should know now then. That i tried being "okay" and "whatever" about it. But this time round I failed.
It's only for today though. I'll be sad today. But tomorrow, i'll be better. I'll go to school and do my best to score A's for you. For us. Our future. I will not be "emo-nemo" and "drama-mama". I'll be strong for you. And i'll tell you how much i miss + love you everyday.
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