FAT FAT FAT

Pretty sure that this is one thing Brad and I talk about at least once a week.. (source: identity-mag.com)

A typical conversation between the two of us.

Shannon: GOSH MY THIGHS ARE HUGE. I have no thigh gap. My belly is so big. I'm so fat. :(

Brad: Nooooo. You're so skinny.

Shannon: I AM FAT. *whines*

Brad: You are skinny. If you're fat then what about *insert something here*

Shannon: *thinks about it then realises yeah okay i still fit my uk6 shorts and its not exploding* *but if i don't believe him / or still think i'm fat*

Brad: You know what.. Just talk to me once you're done complaining you're fat.

YES. He gets annoyed. And i get annoyed too. At how fat i feel. Or how jiggly i see myself as (that i would actually start self-loathing and not want to look at myself in the mirror hah hah hah) Sometimes, i get tired too. Cause really.. if i wear the smallest size of clothing's and i think I'm fat.. i think somebody needs a slap. :/

But i guess i'm better about it now. I used to whine, and diet, and not eat rice for a week.. Til I realise it doesn't work. That i can't possibly lose any more weight coz I'm not exactly overweight to begin with. And that i do not have a thigh gap (yes i fell into that craze for sometime too) cause my hips are built pretty close together PLUS i ran loads back when i was in track, therefore leading to my slightly (hehe self praise) bigger thighs than usual.

Also, its loads better to have someone tell me that he'll love me despite my flabbiness. Which i don't always believe coz i think guys are as superficial as girls (or as me) and once I'm a uk18 AT THIS HEIGHT there goes my fit boyfriend with a VS model.

I think I've been obsessed with being skinny for a bit that i forgot how it felt like to enjoy eating. :) So now i kinda forget about the calories, and just eat and eat and eat. Praise the Lord i haven't gain much weight since uni started. :D (still less than or about 45kg, but i've always been that weight since i was 18? basically i didn't gain any weight at all)

I THINK GIRLS SHOULD STOP OBSESSING ABOUT THEIR APPEARANCE TOO. I mean fine, nobody would fall in love with your appearance (this i have to agree on, see reference picture below) but i believe in feelings being developed. I also believe that nobody will stick with you if you have a shitty attitude so yeah.

Proof.

Hopefully the next time i feel fat, i can look back on this post (will make note to self) so it can slap me repeatedly til i think straight again.